Can’t juggle in the dark? Eat more carrots.

Ok, so I guess you could say that a lot has happened since my last post. Sadly, none of the events have anything to do with my hearing getting back to normal (stomps metaphorically and groans!). So Liverpool finally delivered the blow, I was expecting it that’s for sure; however, I wasn’t quite sure I would get the response that  I would. I was told by Liverpool, that my application was rejected because I am ‘currently studying an undergraduate degree and therefore have not graduated’; well, firstly thank you for the obvious, but I don’t appreciate the fact that this wasn’t made apparent prior to the application – I should’ve just gone for Newcastle, like C told me (felt bitter saying that).

I suppose, that’s sort of something I can’t really change so I’ll get over it. As I was saying, a lot has gone on since last Tuesday; I had that meeting with L (my final year project supervisor) and she tore me apart. Luckily, I was in a really positive mood and so I just heard all the positive (there wasn’t very much) and tried to spin the negative (way too much to spin). To put it in short; I write more like a ‘journalist’ and less like a scientist. To be honest, I’m not surprised; my report sounded unbelievably bad (I couldn’t believe I submitted it, I must’ve been half dead!), and the constructive criticism she gave has actually helped me to put things slightly more into perspective. I suppose you could say that the week gone has been quite focused on  perspective. I attended a ‘managing procrastination’ workshop; which spooked me a little at first because I felt like we were going to be psychoanalysed and so I was a bit on edge, but surprisingly it was really good – I know why I procrastinate (I think), so at least now I can guilt trip myself into doing some work (probably not the best way, but definitely works). So perspective; what is it? I’m not trying to be philosophical, by all means to me perspective is reflective thinking; like stepping away from ‘throwing pebbles into a pond’ and just letting the water settle and then, well…stare into it. I know that given the time I have, circa 3 months; it’s going to be impossible to cover all the material that I have to cover (used the word cover to close together); so I’ve decided to hike up my skirt and go for the study group option (hopefully starting next week).

It sounds like things are finally coming together in my head; I’ve got more ‘perspective’ now and I’m not feeling like my tutor is a completely miserable guy (C), so there’s a turn I didn’t expect. Despite knowing what I have to do, I still don’t know what’s going to happen with me post-graduation (19th July!!!!); H has it all sorted, she’s getting married 8th April! Wow, that’s huge! I don’t want anything that monumental; just a good job that can keep me ticking over until next year (which for me is actually October) so I can plan my application for med again. Better luck next time to me and all the other wannabes out there.

In regards to the title; it could’ve been many things this week; but I’ve been feeling like I’m juggling things in the dark so naturally…(I need to eat more carrot; my eyesight sucks anyway!)


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