It’s been a hectic few weeks, certainly full of drama in some form or the other, and a heap of stress. In particular, “time” has been an incredibly sore point. I’m almost at the half way stage of my PhD and I feel as though I’ve not even begun to get myself to a point where I can say “yeah, I can see an end”…in fact, I still feel as though I’m still at the start. I’m still a headless chicken. I’m still stuck on one technique. And I’m still dreaming about what it is that I ‘actually’ want to do. What’s changed in the last twelve months? Not much…but at the same time, a heck of a lot.
There are positives and negatives in every situation and this certainly is not an exception. I’ve grown a lot as a person (metaphorically speaking of course!), I’ve developed thicker skin, and despite still being an emotional wreck (it comes with the territory) I can manage myself a lot better…especially with some “very” specific help (nothing illegal!). I have a clearer direction of where I’m heading, I know exactly what needs doing. I have a plan. I have back up, and surprisingly my supervisor has been very “on the ball” lately…which despite seeming quite great, it’s quite stressful because now I feel as though I’m not working hard enough or fast enough. Now I feel like I really need to step up to the plate, I’ve spent a good few months working on Western blots and they’re still not perfect. I want them to be perfect, they need to be if I expect any publications out of them. I just need to get myself focused. I need to start using my lab book again and start meticulously following each and every step with care, I just need to get my head in the right gear. Getting ill often has set backs, and nothing is more irritating than getting ill, feeling a little better and then exhausting yourself, only to fall ill again. Oh well, I think I need to reinstate my orange juice mornings.
PS. Title – As part of the ‘Jedi Mind trick’ package. NOT TO BE SOLD SEPARATELY.