I don’t even know where to start today, and although that’s not entirely unusual…in a strange way, it is. This week has been chaotic, and possibly the longest 4 day week I can remember, where we’ve transitioned not only months, but also seasons. But that’s not the point. The point is the chaos, and disturbances. I had my end of year review earlier this week, and I won’t lie…despite all the heartache that Western blots have caused, I was relatively calm about it. I was wrong. Although my presentation and ability to defend my choices and experiments, were fine…I was penalised for something beyond my control. Control which reigned in the sticky hands of my supervisory and the incompetent hands of the registry department.
So, what does that mean for poor old Nazra? It means a repeat examination. How do I feel about that? Honestly? I feel a heck of a lot better than I did a few days ago…and although my sleeping pattern has yet to return to normality, I’m optimistic about the future. Something which I’ve not been able to say for a while now. Despite the initial mindboggle…I think I’ve taken some positive from the entire experience. I’m more determined than ever to complete within my designated three years. That September deadline…(although looming)…is not unattainable. I have a new plan now, I’m compromising (gosh…never thought I’d say that!). I think it’s certainly a kick up the rear, a well needed one perhaps. Perhaps I had become complaisant, unable to fight my cause, to just become passive. I have a rejuvenated vigour to complete my stipend-less PhD and move ahead with my life.
A life which is going to dramatically change in the very near future. Where dreams may become a reality…where a battle isn’t going to be necessary, but there are going to be tantrums for sure. I wouldn’t be Nazra without my tantrums. And I refuse to wear all things ‘make up’…and all things jazzy, snazzy and bedazzly (not quite a triple rhyme).
As for the rest of the chaos, I have an abstract to write for the Pharmacology 2016 conference, I have a new presentation to prepare for my end of year review (not too much hard work), I have a supervisory team meeting (after an aeon) which needs an agenda prepared and a way for me to not let my DoS take over…again. I also need to make headway with my writing so that I’m not forcing a serious catch up, I need to work towards the rest of the techniques I have remaining (cell isolations, flow cytometry and PCR), and lastly…finding a job for next year. Because from then onward….Nazra has many more changes to make. Big changes.
But it’s not all been about the chaos, the end of August was very good. A very important friend and I made good, she’s happy with some big changes in her life (changes that are certainly ahead of me also); and another friend who’s mere presence makes me feel less stressed out. And of course, there’s that all important apprentice (reference?).
PS. Titular reference…soy milk isn’t giving me a tummy ache = great! But…soy hot chocolate isn’t quite the same = not so great. Hence a paradox.