The build up of it all…


” And when the levels rise, the whole world drowns.”

I didn’t really want to post anything in the immediate aftermath of such an occasion (ironically…my post title lives up to the post…without even intending to do so)…unless you’ve managed the impossible and avoided all dialogue or social interaction, you will know exactly what I’m referring to. In fact, before the wrong idea is embedded, I should probably point out that…as with many of my posts, I had started this a few days ago, regarding a completely different matter (more on that).  But plans rarely stay on task, and nor do expectations, not now, nor back in June (still incredibly disappointed with the outcome. In fact, disappointed doesn’t even begin to describe the feelings).

The above line…says a lot, (also…what’s with VR headsets? They’re absolutely everywhere…sorry! TV advert…again!) it can apply to everything in this post. Initially it was simply referring to being overwhelmed. By responsibilities, by experiments, by corrupt politics. There’s just far too much to think about. About how a single step, or a win can impact a life or several million.

Perhaps I’m extrapolating, but I’m certain that the sentiments are echoed. But nonetheless, I shan’t deviate from my initial thoughts. I have a lot of stressful work to carry forward, and very little time in which to do so. Add failing experiments, unreasonable expectations (personal), a work-life balance thrown out of the window and the inability to see clearly beyond the foggy disposition…all create an unrealistic and almost bound-to-fail prospect.

But as someone said…”no matter how tainted your past…your future is spotless”. I want to carry that forward with my approach in life…for myself and others. I can’t judge anyone based on their past, and I can’t judge my experiments based on the data I’ve collected in the past. Just because something was unsuccessful to begin with, doesn’t mean that it can’t be improved.

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